Barefoot by the Sea: Please allow me to introduce myself (Guest Blogger)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Please allow me to introduce myself (Guest Blogger)

I’m a man of little wealth and no gift buying taste (Jessica’s husband). This Christmas was one of the few gift-giving holidays in about a decade that did not end up with less than stellar gifts under the tree.  Some of my glories of Christmas' past include moldy, generic brand body butter (yes, I said moldy, as in mold literally growing inside), multiple drugstore brand soaps bought at the 11th hour, “old lady” powder puff blue slippers purchased at BJ’s Wholesale Club, earplugs in an attempt to help her avoid hearing my snoring and unfortunately the list goes on… but I will spare you.

Needless to say, I like many others, have set the bar pretty low for my significant other when it comes to receiving gifts. Every year (after the bruises heal and the tears dry) I make a solemn vow that I will a) start earlier b) be more thoughtful and c) avoid the doghouse when it comes to the next gift giving occasion. I usually fail, until this year!

This year, she was happy with the Christmas gifts I gave her and said it was one of the happiest holidays she can remember. How did I do it? Well, I have prepared a few tips that may be of use to anybody who consistently find themselves in my predicament.

1) Listen – I realized that every once and a while she would mention things she could use, brands or items she liked or things she wanted.

2) Start Early – Now this one may be impossible for most if not all members of the male species, but I realized that if I actually used my recently acquired, aforementioned listening skills, I could hone in on things that my wife wanted as early as October. The beauty of this is that she is clearly not expecting that I am completing research for the purposes of Christmas shopping, so many of the things that come to light that she isn’t expressly hinting at as a potential gift ideas. The downside is that with this much time to Christmas, if she truly wants the item that she is talking about, there is a chance she could go out and buy it on her own. Warning: Do not buy too early, just complete potential gift recon and…

3) Take Notes – Like most things in life, I have to write things down lest I forget. A little scrap of paper that got more and more crumpled and fuzzier as the days wore on accompanied me everywhere, transferred from pants pocket to pants pocket. Be careful here, a moment of forgetfulness and this list heads to the laundry room where it is either destroyed in the wash or discovered by the little lady

4) Blame the kids – If all else fails and you do end up getting a dud, don’t worry, with careful preparation, you too can have a “scapekid” (kid as in baby goat, get it?). Whenever I went shopping, I always brought one or both of the girls and would always manage to have a conversation with them laying the groundwork for them to take the fall should any present fail to delight. Sounds bad, I know, but what mother could ever truly get upset at gift one’s precious angel picks out for Christmas, right?

Well, I hope this helps… and more than that, I hope it gives me another 3 or 4 weeks in good graces (a guy can dream, right?)

The Vintage Pearl, I thank you!


  1. ahhhhhh!!!!! what a fantastic guest post! I need to show this to D:) He has me give him a list and i get everything on surprises;)
    Your hubs is so cute:)

  2. Kudos!! Nice work! Can I give you my husband's number? LOL Great post! Have a Happy New Year!

  3. This is such an adorable post. Though, I would love a pic of the "old lady" powder puff blue slippers ala BJW's.


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