Barefoot by the Sea: Courage Not Fear: 2015 is the Year

Monday, January 5, 2015

Courage Not Fear: 2015 is the Year

It feels good to be back after a little bit of a break. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday season! I'm excited for 2015! It feels good to start fresh, there is always something about January that feels particularly special…a clean slate and a whole year ahead!

I'm excited for the new year and all that it entails. I have plans for 2015 and I hope that this year will be better than last, I think that's just human nature. First, I thought it would only make sense to give you a bit of an update regarding what's been happening around here.

December came and went in a blur. Anyone who is read my blog in the past knows that the goal I have for my holiday season is always the same: to take it all in, to savor, make the most of it, be organized and prepared. As much planning and thought I put into this year, I don't think I could've ever really prepared for how our holiday events unfolded.  Early December was wonderful, we had plenty of family time: we made gingerbread houses, went on evening drives to see Christmas lights and manage to go down to Boston to see Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on stage. We celebrated with my husbands family the weekend before Christmas and although time was fleeting, we were poised for our lovely holiday at home.

Unfortunately, on Christmas Eve, I got the news that my mother (who had been on crutches after twisting her knee walking her dog), had taken a nasty fall down her stairs. She damaged her wrists very badly, broke seven ribs and cut her chin. It's a surreal experience driving down to the hospital on Christmas Eve not knowing what state you're find your mother is in. When I got there, my Mom was still in the emergency room, her arms in giant foam blocks, a huge bandage on her chin and the look of complete defeat across her face. She immediately apologized, feeling bad that she "ruined" our Christmas. The truth is, I felt a deep sense of relief that she was okay and none of the rest of it mattered.  On Christmas Eve afternoon, she had surgery on her wrists.  I sat in the waiting room alone and scared. My husband and I both agreed that it would be better if he tried to make the day as festive as possible given the situation, for our two daughters. They of course were disappointed that I wasn't home and that our holiday plans were going to have to change.  The day felt like an eternity, anyone who's had a loved one go through surgery, I'm certain you can relate. It's such a scary time. There was a giant flatscreen television with all the surgeries scheduled that day on the wall, coded different colors depending on the patient's state. I watched one by one, as other patients were out of surgery and my Mom remained. She remained in surgery for six hours. Around 6 PM, the surgery was done and the surgeon took me into the hall to tell me that my mother had some of the worst fractures she'd ever seen and that this was a "life-changing accident for her and all of the people that loved her".  I was told that it would be a very long road and that she would not be able to care for herself for quite some time. I was told to wait a while and then called into the recovery room and when I saw my mother she looked so small and helpless.  I got home on Christmas Eve around 9 PM. My girls were still awake and excited for Santa, I put on a happy/brave face and remembered that this was a very important night for them as well. My mom spent the next seven nights in the hospital. The whole week was complete blur. My mother and father divorced several years ago and although she has many friends, she's seriously independent and prideful.  It isn't easy for her to ask for help from anyone so this most certainly has been an adjustment. She was transferred to a nursing facility a few days ago where she remains. The hope is that her wounds will heal so that she can get to the point where she can begin physical therapy and work on getting her life back but this will be a very long road.

I'm sharing this with you all because it's just another example of how life takes sudden and unexpected turns. Things change quickly, you can't plan for everything, no matter how hard you try. The twists and turns in life may bring you to unexpected places.  You can't control that but you can control how you react to them.  I'm trying hard to make the most of 2015 and start on a positive note.  I have hope, I will still make my goals and remain optimistic even as new hurdles are put in our way.  I encourage you to do the same, not only to make the best of everything everyday of this new year but to look towards the positive, your faith, your love and your family.  I have a negative streak at times but I'm trying hard to change that about me because I realize no good can come through it. I have to focus on how I'm reacting situations, I have to be a role model for my two girls and I have to be the best person that I can be during both good times and bad.

All this to say my hope for the new year is to be more positive, and to control my reactions to the situations in my life with courage and not fear.  With that, I'm ready for 2015!  Do you make resolutions or goals for the new year?  Where does YOUR focus lie this year?  


  1. Oh wow Jessica! What an awful thing for your poor mom and you as well!! I'm glad she's doing better and getting care that she needs. You never do know when something like this is going to shake your world. I can feel tears coming up as I've been there through surgeries of loved ones and also when my mom broke her arm a short time after losing my dad. She sounds a lot like your mom. I'm sure your mom is so thankful to have you in her life. It's good you got a lot of your Christmas celebrating in early this year and I hope you still managed to enjoy your special time with your family.

  2. Oh my goodness! How scary. I am so glad that she is okay though as far long term goes. Your new year's goal sounds a lot like mine. My word for the year is GOOD, but it involves looking for the good in all situations and thinking positive. Exactly like what you are saying. I hope it is a blessed year for your family.

  3. Hello Jessica,
    This post brought back many, many, memories!! Christmas 2013 my grandma called ER and was rushed to a larger hospital in Wisconsin. She passed away on January,22,2014. Like you said life can change in just one moment!
    Sending you a BIG HUG and I will be praying for you and your family.
    xx oo

  4. I am so sorry to hear this, Jess! How scary for all of you - I can't imagine. My thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend! Wishing you peace and strength and courage, and wishing your mom a speedy and full recovery.

  5. Oh my gosh... What a scary thing to go through, and on Christmas Eve! I have never been in that situation, so can only imagine. I do hope that your mom surpasses their expectations and has a speedy recovery.
    I do agree with you on keeping a positive outlook. It's all to easy to be negative. Even if I have nothing but negativity around me in a day, I know my husband and I can put a positive spin on things. And my bloggy friends are always there with a positive light in the day!
    Hugs to you my friend, wishing you all the best in 2015.


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